“No pressure, no diamonds” : Buccaneer Down…

“no pressure, no diamonds” – a quote discovered on the long drive home yesterday, and although it’s origins were subsequently discovered to be slightly less honourable, I think I will keep it all the same….

As Beaujolais has already blogged our DW2017 hasn’t quite finished as we’d hoped, it was more of a DR – Devizes to Runnymede… And yes, I am feeling a little despondent about the actual result, but there are so many positives to be taken from the experience that those feelings will pass fairly quickly (I hope)

First thing – the team. Entirely epic, as always – a truly dysfunctional but loving family! Beaujolais, Cortisone and The Rottweiler (aka Lady gAGA) really embraced the ‘it’s all about me’ concept and ensured that everything was in place to keep me moving in good style.

• Beaujolais with his firm but concerned portage routine, keeping it simple, reducing the information the paddler has to process – paddling K1 can be a lonely experience, other than the odd salutation exchanged when passing or being passed by another paddler you are mostly alone with your thoughts. So suddenly arriving into one of the busier feed stations can come as quite an assault to the senses – it’s loud, people are everywhere and then you have to get out of the boat and run, walk, feed and update your support crew… To have the unwanted/unnecessary humdrum removed, to have a focused support crew really does simplify things, and help keep things moving forward efficiently. Firm, direct, efficient…  His athlete abuse is also very funny, MOO!!
• Cortisone always the quiet voce of reason and calm. Ensuring that the support crew reach the next intervention in plenty of time, in good humour and supplied with the necessary items. Our most experienced DW supporter and a true gentleman.  His support crew abuse is also very funny, tickle tickle!
• The Rottweiler/Lady gAGA deserves a medal for her efforts in patching my body back together again – especially the hands!! I didn’t know you can use superglue on open blisters!! Blisters, chafing, soreness all tended to without a fuss. Always knows when a coffee will be appreciated. Too much of a lady to abuse anyone!

The Paddling:

• Day One, Devizes to Newbury, 56km, 6.57hr, 4138 calories burned…
  • Really enjoyed day one… The long pound lets you settle into the paddling after all the excitement and activities at Devizes. It soothes the nerves and lets you settle into the event – I know many find it’s portage-free length a little tedious but I actually quite enjoyed it – a flock of ducklings and a deer swimming across the canal providing the highlights – much to the surprise and disdain of the junior crew whose wash I was sitting on when I spotted the wildlife and shrieked out loud…
  • Met Sid the swan at Pewsey – not something I was looking forward to before the race… Started off swimming towards me, bow wave at his chest and a menacing look in his beady black eyes – so I stared him out and hissed at him!! He let me get a good 100m and almost relaxed before the thunk thunk thunk of beating wings started – oh f**k!! I’m not entirely sure what I thought I was doing, but I turned to face him, looked him in the eye and screamed at him – a guttural, almost primordial noise that I didn’t know I was capable of making!! It worked, he stopped chasing and seemed to mutter something about having left the iron on, and swam off…..
  • Tunnel – less fun in a K1 with two very fast K1s nipping at my rudder… Hit something with my paddle at one point resulting in a very girly shriek and then giggles…. But the daylight always come, and then it’s onto the highest portage!!
  • Knowing it’s a tough old portage, even in the K2 I decided to ‘go short’ and take my chances with the ‘grassy’ bank – easter being three weeks later this year means the nettles are three weeks further grown!! Probably quite comical for the poor guy waiting on his crew coming in!! He did give me some jelly babies though!!
  • Crofton flight – I loved this. All those hours training at Loch Lomond jumping in and out of the boat really paid off here, and I passed more than I was passed…. I skipped down the flight, and genuinely enjoyed the distraction of the portages.

  • 

    Devizes – go go go!

• Day Two, Newbury to Marlow, 58km, 7.28hr, 4348 calories burned…
  • a tough day after a bad night’s sleep…. but managed to keep the boat moving!
  • the canal section was very congested with some portages operating a queuing system to get back onto the water – K1s can sometimes sneak past – result!!
  • A lot of high, awkward portages on the canal – I took these very cautiously, but no damage to me or the boat (my poor tights were less fortunate)
  • Was glad to get onto the river which was an unexpected emotion! Less traffic, more space and little assistance from the current. Happily sitting in the middle of the stream and coping perfectly with the washes coming from the cruisers, this was going better than I hoped!!
  • Daylight. This section has always been in the dark previously, and whilst it was a little chilly the sun was shining and the river thames was looking splendid – lots to look at, to help the mind wander, to distract from the enormity of the paddling itself.
  • Henley – lord, have NEVER paddled water like that in my life. A combination of wind against current and two way river traffic made for conditions that could only be described as sea-like. The river was in my knickers and I was squawking inwardly – the Kirton Tor was perfect, whilst I was not loving the conditions we handled them safely and kept paddling forward to limp down the Henley straight and onto the next portage – feeling very chuffed with myself.
  • Body starting to get tired… the last 10km being an exercise in counting down the km’s on the garmin, or at least until it chucked it due to lack of battery – at least I was doing better than that!! Blisters getting epic, wrist starting to ache on and off and left shoulder protesting after a particularly long wait at one portage with the boat on my shoulder…

  • 

    Newbury

• Day Three, Marlow to Teddington (Runnymede), 29km, 3.27hr, 2200 calories burned…
  • Better sleep and woke ready to attack again, feeling much better in myself. Blisters taped up, and both shoulders ached so high hopes of plodding away to Teddington, and maybe even making up some of the time I had lost the previous day… life was good!!
  • More hogging the middle of the river and passing those early starters…
  • Wrist ached, but eased – shoulder not so much.
  • Passed Dorney Lake and headed into Windsor, heading to Romney lock with the shoulder now aching continuously – not chronically but just no relief regardless of how I moved it, changed pressure points, relaxed, tensed, wiggled…. Hmm!!
  • The irony was not lost on me as I pulled into Romney Lock and told Beaujolais that shoulder was very sore – the same lock our DW2014 campaign stopped due to his shoulder being broken…
  • But hoped it might still ease – it had the day before, and the support crew were going to bring drugs to the next intervention so I paddled onwards.
  • The scenery was lovely, some crazy expensive boats and houses to nosey at, other crews to say hello to……
  • But, an increasing awareness that things weren’t easing, the pain was increasing and spreading. The shoulder was starting to protest in sharp spikes of sore rather than a dull ache and no manner of flattening out my already flat stroke was helping. One more portage and the shoulder additionally started to seize up and the range of useable motion was decreasing… it all felt a little inevitable as I cruised into Runnymede – sore, barely paddling and hugging the bank in an increasingly unstable K1. I asked a passing crew how far the next lock was and they replied ‘3 miles’. I just didn’t think I had another 5km in me, and I wasn’t even half way through day 3…. It wasn’t a case of limping on for a final 5km, which might have been an option – as we (the royal we) learned the hard way in 2014 ‘limping on’ for another 30km just isn’t an option.
  • Bugger

  • 

    The only picture of my hands suitable for the blog – they got worse from here!!

The decision comes with little internal drama – because in reality it’s been on the radar since getting back in the boat after queueing at the portage the day before – the shoulder wasn’t happy, and I knew it then. At that point it’s a minor niggle, so I kept paddling and on reaching the river was much happier. But this race is so long and arduous that even minor niggles have the potential to turn into boat stoppers after a period of time – a bit like continuing to poke at an already painful bruise…

So no Westminster this year… But a great winter of training, and fabulous two and half days of paddling and portaging spent in very good company both on and off the water!!

Supremely organised event, with just the best atmosphere and the volunteers/ marshalls/ time keepers and everyone associated with the race are very special people – I tried to smile, thank, each and every one… I would recommend you try it… be beware, it WILL suck you in…