Am I pleased to see you… or did I put a canoe (K1) on my car

Chaos theory has always been a fundamental life management strategy for Beaujolais. It is fair to say the last month has been fairly interesting. Canoeing has rather fallen lower down the list of priorities. This is not to say that 1) The desire has gone or 2) That I have not been training.

Anyway as the late great Bon Scott would have said, if he had not regrettably died of alcohol poisoning in 1980:

(Well) You ask me ’bout the clothes I wear (which are mostly wet and smelly)
And you ask me why I grow my hair (keeps the heat in during cold easter weekends)
And you ask me why I’m in a band (K2)
I dig doin’ one night stands (!)
And You wanna see me do my thing (?)
All you gotta do is plug me into high
I said high
High voltage rock ‘n’ roll

It is now time to really get the finger out and jam it firmly into a three-phase power supply, turn the speakers up to 11 and start building up mileage in the boat.

I spoke to Antony last week, which was really good. We are looking to meet up in February and get some outings in, and enter Waterside B. I see Antony has been busy ferreting away: he has picked up the boat from Marsport, is blogging away profusely, and training even harder.

Anyway enough for today, time to get cracking with a few other things…

C Day Minus 2 Days

Sitting in Sainsbury’s Cwmbran car park in the pissing south welsh rain. Heating on, windscreen wipers on, desperately peering through the gloom, searching for Antony’s Reg Golf estate, with Condor K2 on top. But no sign. It seemed a good idea agreeing to rendezvous in the Sainsbury Car Park- but this close to Christmas, hindsight would suggest, maybe not. It could be worse we could be paddling. If we do ever meet up today, and paddle, it is certainly going to be character building in this. Beaujolais wonders if Antony is up for spending the day in a warm, dry, characterful public house.

A few hours later Antony and a shivering Beaujolais are sitting side by side on a comfortable sofa in a licensed Canal side cafe, enjoying Bacon rolls, coffee, a glass of red wine (well one of us) served by a welcoming Italian proprietor. It is an eclectic place a welsh canal bank. As previously reported, it doesn’t get much better than this.

It is amazing how quickly the trials and tribulations of our paddle are forgotten.

As Christmas is now threatening to kick the door in, I take this opportunity to follow Dirty D’s example and wish all our fellow Buccaneers, and indeed fellow paddlers a very happy Christmas.

At home with the Taffs

There is a rhyme, proudly recounted to me by a Welshman.
Taffy was a Welshman
Taffy was a thief
Taffy went to England
And stole all their beef

Beaujolais has arrived in the land of the Taffs. As expected the conversation hot in the public houses is how they, the Welsh, were robbed of the Rugby World Cup by the referee for that tackle. As far as Beaujolais is concerned the referee got it right. However he will be keeping that opinion to himself as he is not one to cause a diplomatic incident. Note to self, purchase a French rugby jersey for Christmas Day.

Arrived in Wales with two kayaks. 1 boat which has been converted into a roof box, and the second, the Macros K1. The next week or so is Beaujolais’s version of a sweat and sawdust training camp. What the inlaws will make of this is yet to be seen. But with the Devizes Westminster, like any other mission of this nature, a certain degree of collateral damage is to be expected.

Hoping to meet up with Mr Murr for a formal k2 outing. I think, that over the last year, there have been more sightings of the Flying Dutchman, than there has been outings of the Yeomans/ Murr DW 2012 K2 entry. So this will be a positive. The Rear of the boat asserted me he has been training hard and is almost at size zero.

Anyway off to do some training now… Just about to empty a bag of sawdust onto the lounge floor and try and complete 10 sets of 2x pressups. Might need a hose as well.

Vive La France

Gaiety Required

It is an awfully drab and grey day. Not exactly inspiring one to go out and paddle. Swimming a few lengths of the Jaccuzi is possibly the only training that I can muster any enthusiasm for today. Sadly the December, 2nd Linlithgow Winter Time trial was cancelled yesterday due to ice. Although from a positive perspective it does mean that as we approach the 3rd of the Series in January, Beaujolais is still in second place in the overall series rankings…. Now that’s a good excuse for a celebration.

It has been a busy week work wise. The Ho Ho Hoing Fat Man in the Crimson Suit has been out, and been outed. An unfortunate slip of the polyester beard at just the wrong moment revealed all.

But, unlike the rear of the boat in Shropshire, the Loch Lomond front of the boat has actually managed to fit in some paddling amongst the mince pies, pints of lager, bottles of red wine, curries etc etc etc. 62 kilometres paddled last week- I think that is deserving of at least a case of banana wine. On top of that 3 miles swam and 9 miles ran. The only down side is that mince pies appear to be very fattening as the mighty Beaujolais is mightier than ever. Just how much crew weight can the Marsport Condor accommodate and when is Easter?

Anyway it is the season to make merry, not worry. The weight loss can wait to the new year. In the meantime there is a trip to Wales for Christmas, including an assignation with Antony and possibly even an outing as a crew in the K2.

The Eagle… A study in K2 crew harmony

So round two of what has become locally and fondly known as Hurricane Bawbag (Bawbag being Scots for Scrotum)has passed through. In its aftermath K2′s were scattered to the four corners of the Jardin Du Beaujolais. Cortisone’s K1 escaped unscathed, although there was an interesting collection of tiles sticking neatly in the ground all around it. It was like it had been used by an accomplished and enthusiastic knife thrower for practice.

So what heroics has Beaujolais been up to. At the height of the storm on Tuesday night the Brave Beaujolais took to his bed armed with 2 bottles of COOP Merlot- conspicuous because of the cheapness of their purchase. Whilst under the covers, Beaujolais watched a film.

The Eagle…. A simple story…

Roman soldier goes to Britain to regain family honour.
Gets wounded in heroic encounter with revolting Britons.
Survives, just. Then saves heroic Ancient Briton (Billy Elliot) from death in the Gladitorial arena.
Billy Elliot then becomes his Romans Slave, helps his recovery and is impressed by Romans Character.
Roman and Billy Elliot go to Scotland to get lost Legions Eagle (The Jocks had nicked it- its bit like the turf at Wembley, most Gardens in Glasgow claim there grass came from Wembley).
Journey is a bit of an epic, a bit like the route the coach parties of Yorkshire pensioners take when they visit Scotland.
Roman and Billy Elliot fall into hands of Jocks. Billy Elliot saves Roman by claiming that the Roman is in fact his slave. The roles are now reversed. Interesting I hear you gasp.
Roman a tad peeved.
However Billy Elliot has been playing a clever game and at last moment, releases Roman, they recover Eagle, and run home to England, chased by angry Jocks. Family honour is saved. Roman releases Billy Elliot from Slavery and they become friends and equal partners.

Is it just me, but should this become essential viewing for all Marathon K2 crews as a case study in crew harmony.

More Worringly for Antony (my K2 partner for DW 2012)I sent him a text last night, and just as I pressed send, realised I had place a kiss (X) by my name at the end. Panicked,, Frenzied, Frantic Fumbling followed. I managed to turn the phone off just prior to the complete transmission. I managed on switching phone back on to delete message and send again. I do not think our partnership is quite at that point yet. But who knows… if we make Westminster and claim our own Eagle… what heights this partnership can achieve.

Your only as good as your last session (training)..

Training, its a bit of a pain at the best of times. I find I need to keep to a rigidly disciplined timetable, plus have a clear goal, to have any chance of getting into shape.
Over the last couple of weeks, the timetable as been torn up. I blame it on the weather. A couple of days snow caused problems. High winds caused more. Now Christmas is going to give the timetable a hell of a good kicking as well.
Children needing lifts to parties. Parties needing an obese male for the Santa visit- I have a demanding fan base. People insisiting we meet up for a seasonal drink. Picking up Christmas trees. Bah Humbug.
So training is currently sporadic at best. I think I have managed about 3 short paddles in the last 10 days. None of them exceptional in performance terms. Although Jack paddled with me this morning and capsized which cheered me up no end, almost to the point of becoming festive.
My current training programme is focused on running and swimming. I am trying to run every evening. Normally I run every other evening, but given the posibility that weather may stop play at any time, I do not wish to risk going too long without a run if the weather takes another turn for the worse.
So DW preparations continue. I am little worried I am a little light on the paddling mileage, but heh ho.
I am certainly not light on the ballast front- which is alarming.

Cortisone has also eased off the paddling. He seems to have found a new past time and is occupied playing Tarzan most weekends.

GB’s Facebook would suggest he is getting out, but I feat may be regressing back to his Sea Kayak.

This coming Sunday is the 2nd Linlithgow Winter Time Trial. I cannot attend, although I intend to paddle the course another day this coming week as it is one of my performance indicators. It will be interesting to see if; firstly the weather is kind, and secondly if GB and Cortisone make an appearance. Or will they be joining Dirty D and Christmas Shopping instead? Meanwhile Beaujolais takes to bed accompanied by a map of the Kennet and Avon Canal, Dark Chocolate and Red Wine- the last 2 apparently good for the health.

Its official…well almost

The union that is the K2 Partnership of Antony Murr and Michael Yeomans, is at last offical, well almost. The entry has been submitted online, the cheque submitted by post. I guess it will be really offical when we recieve the Email Confirmation. Any way thats the hard part done, now all we need to to do is get to Easter in one piece (or perhaps 2), then complete the course.

So it was a most pumped up Beaujolais who leapt out of bed this morning ready for this particular days training. However did not paddle as it was a tad windy. So decided to go for a swim instead, unfortunately Helensburgh Pool has the opposite problem to the Kennet and Avon Canal, as not only is it full, but it has water entering by the roof, which appears to being ripped off by wind, and at the same time is flooded by the rather ferocious sea’s that it normally resides above. Instead enjoyed a full Scottish Breakfast with extra potatoe scones. Now well ballasted ready for anything

This week training has been problematic. First Wind and Rain, then Snow, then more Wind (in every sense). So limited opportunities to paddle. Running has also been challenging, would love to run tonight but the trees’s that appear to be dropping at every gust would make any attempt a little risky. Boy would Antony love it here at the moment. He would be out with his chainsaw, merrily chopping up the falllen timber.

The good news is that so far I have managed to stay of the bottle, no doubt thanks to Mr Murr’s pep blog!

Winter Fun

Yesterdays paddle started of in wonderful conditions (see picture), and finished in slightly more challenging circumstances as heavy snow started falling.

So the snow has arrived and I see some of our fellow Buccaneers have been busy. GB has been engaging in Snow Ball fights, whilst Dirty D has been up in the mountains, enjoying Winter Munro bagging. Beaujolais has even tried out his Cross Country Ski’s- ordered last year when the snow was at its worst, and arriving with the thaw. Great fun. Did 4 laps of the garden. Cannot wait to try out in a more challenging “Off Garden” environment. Cortisone meanwhile has been on the Piste.

Conditions currently look good for a paddle this afternoon after work. However the roads are the issue with huge amounts of black ice. The council looking to ensure they do not run out of grit this year… by not actually using any.

Drunk as a Skunk

The weekend has been a bit of a disaster, especially on the training front. The Saturday Buccaneer Paddle did not materialise, The Nelo sisters choosing to cancel. Beaujolais has struggled to remain on the straight and narrow. The dark, wet, windy and freezing cold conditions not making training an attractive proposition. Anyway this is the time for good cheer, so Beaujolais has made himself comfortable by the fire in the company of his good friends Pinot and Merlot.
A bit of a hang over this morning, so lay in bed. A night out planned for this evening, so probably will be in a similar state tomorrow.
Actually quite a few Christmas lunches and nights out planned for this week. It is hoped that my good fiend from Shropshire, Mr Murr, is training hard for the two of us. Actually I need to give Antony a call, as I appear to have put a little weight on lately, I am wondering if he will be ok with enlarging the front cockpit?

Time to hoist the colours..

Boating on Loch Lomond this morning

The 1st of December has been and gone. Obviously the main event was Cortisone’s Birthday celebration. However another, although less news worthy item, is that the Entries for the 2012 Devizes Westminster opened.

My aim today is to contact Antony to check he is ok generally, and indeed with Beaujolais as his K2 partner of choice for the 2012 event. If he is happy I will place the entry.

It was good to get out and paddle this morning. But not only was it dark, it was also cold, -1 C at Duncan Mills. The recent rain fall has increased the water level on the loch to the point that our normal boating pontoon now resembles a Cranog. There is a concrete pier to it, but that pier is now under a foot of water, leaving the floating pontoon an island.

The pogies were back on the paddles, I fear they may be on for some time.

The other effect of the low temperature is that it freezes the roads leading into Duncan Mills. These are never gritted, so you leave the main A road and suddenly find yourselves sliding gracefully, yet uncontrollably, generally in the direction of the nearest solid obstruction. The car park at Duncan Mills was itself an ice rink. So its time to remember to drive slowly in the mornings. I remember a similar time last year when hitting the roundabout just prior to Duncan Mills, I found myself close to spinning the car, moments later Cortisone arrived and did exactly the same thing, followed by a succession of Loch Lomond National Park Rangers heading into work, all in perfect synchronisation.

Anyway planning on boating tomorrow at Bowling. Aim to be there for 07:30. If anyone wishes to join me, I’ll see you there.